We’re wrapping up Self-Care September with our last “R” of the 3 R’s to help us get through difficult times. RESILIENCE.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back – having the capacity to respond and even prosper despite all life’s demands. As someone who’s seen her fair share of stressful experiences, I can tell you – being resilient is the “secret sauce” to getting through hard times in one piece. Resilience is probably the most important skill we need to learn – for ourselves and our families.
Yep, I said learn. It’s not one of those things that you have or you don’t. Resilience can be built like a muscle. So, let’s pump you up! 😉
Start with being aware of the strengths you’ve already developed through your own life experiences. (Example: While we went through a year-long unemployment spell, I developed the skill of stretching the budget and our family meals to crazy levels. Those scary days are past, but frugality is something I’m good at to this day.) We also need to develop the skills and mindsets to regulate our emotions, our actions and behavior. How we look at things is going to have a big impact on how well we weather the stress-storm we’re in.
How do we do that – how do we go from faint-hearted (feeling like a victim) to indefatigable?
The first thing is to have positive relationships with your friends, family, co-workers and folks in the community. (Relationships was the first “R” in our 3 R’s formula – you can read about that here.) Being around others helps us regulate our behavior, actions and emotions.
Take better care of yourself, physically. Prioritize sleep, make a habit of regular activity, and eat a well balanced diet. Don’t ask your body and mind to deal with stressful times with no gas in your tank!
Take better care of yourself, mentally. Turn to credible sources and learn about stress – how it affects our brains and bodies. There’s a lot we can do to get in a better place, mentally.
A sense of humor goes a long way in enduring to the end. (I have a sister who’s gone through a lot in life; but she is one of the funniest people I know! The worse her life gets, the funnier the stories are she tells! A sense of humor is one of her superpowers). See the funny and ridiculous in your struggles, and have a good laugh. It really is good medicine!
Other ways to take care of yourself: meditating, practicing an attitude of gratitude, and being more forgiving of yourself and others. Let go of things you can’t control, and limit your exposure to media. (That’s a big one for me right now.) Develop the ability to relax and take time out! (I have trouble with this one – I always feel I have so much to do or catch up on!) One way to do that is to create and prioritize “you” time.
Can’t remember what “you” time is? LOL Ask yourself these questions:
- What is fun for me, or something I get excited about?
- What have you always wanted to learn?
- What would you like to do that you keep putting off?
- Who do I love spending time with?
- What blessings in my life am I ignoring?
- Do I have a core value I could give more attention to?
Lastly, reframe. Tell your personal story from a positive and fortunate point of view. (When I think to to do this, I’m reminded that I’m pretty dang blessed compared to what others are going through.) Use that new perspective to be the change you want to see in your life. Being proactive will help you feel powerful and more in control of your life.
Wow – that’s a lot of tools in our resilience toolbox! I’m going to pick a few to focus on now, and come back to this list. I think resilience is my favorite “R”. The three R’s: Relationships + Routines + Resilience = surviving and even thriving during stressful times! That’s some math I can get behind.
Getting through rough times is doable. Don’t give up. Life comes at us only one day at a time (thank goodness!) – so just do today, and be well.
Leave a comment below and share what gets you through your hard times!
sources: Pamela Cantor, MD https://turnaroundusa.org/the-three-rs-relationships-routines-resilience/